When someone says, “Hey, how are you doing?”, we can go through the list of things we are experiencing in our lives, and typically, we go to something that’s off, something that’s wrong, something that’s negative. So much so, that often times we don’t even realize we are doing it.  We find ourselves focusing on the burdens and complaining… “I’m so tired, I hardly slept”, or “I have a cold that’s making me miserable”, or “I have so much to do, I have a lot of emails, I can’t keep up with my work”, or “It seems I’m always going to the doctor, my body is falling apart”, etc.

The problem with complaining is not that you’re telling the truth.  I mean, at some point we just need to be able to share our burden with someone.  That’s a good thing to be able to do.  The problem with complaining is that if we constantly do this, we eventually become a complainer.  C.S.Lewis talks about this in his book “The Great Divorce”, where he says that some people grumble so much that they become a grumble.

Now, of course, we don’t want to become that kind of person so how do we avoid that? 

Upon pondering this… here’s what I’ve realized: almost everything I complain about is connected to either an opportunity or a gift.  For example:  I may have this huge project that I have to get done that is hanging over my head.  However, by looking at this through a different perspective, I see that I have this wonderful opportunity to be a part of this big project that is going to make a positive difference in others’ lives!  Or perhaps I am flooded with emails at work and I’m feeling the weight of having to attend to each one.  New perspective:  the reason I am getting these emails is because people have questions and I have the opportunity to help and lighten the load of others!  Or perhaps I have several commitments to sing this week but that means I now have the weight of re-arranging other important items.  New perspective:  I actually have the opportunity to share a gift that will hopefully bring joy to others!  Or my knee really hurts when I walk.  New perspective:  there were countless days, months, years when my knee didn’t hurt and perhaps it’s time to be grateful for that!

I want to become that humble and thankful kind of person…even though I am not feeling well, I have heavy burdens, my time is being stretched, I’m exhausted, my job is stressful, etc… and be able to see the blessings, the silver lining, in every opportunity.  Yes, I’ve got this burden, but changing my perspective and seeing the gift, the opportunity placed before me, allows room for inner peace…and THIS is our goal to our best self!

So, today, when someone says, “Hey, how are you doing?”, try to resist the desire to complain.  Sure, there may be a person or two in our lives to whom we can share our burden, but also share the opportunity, the gift.  “Actually, what’s going on right now is I’m feeling a bit low because of (insert burden here), but you know what?  I had an incredible opportunity/gift here that I’ve been blessed with (give reason here)”.

Isn’t that something worth focusing on?

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~ Willie Nelson